Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
