So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My dick has a subreddit
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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