just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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