i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
