i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
