We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
