I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize