he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm too high and old for this...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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