About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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