I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
