At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
