We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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