like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
