Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
