Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
smell my finger.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
