just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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