between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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