You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
