We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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