I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
