k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I will pee on everything he values.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
