Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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