I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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