You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
