Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
