Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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