i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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