He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
