you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
