I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I think i got beer on your cat.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize