i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
