Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
