She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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