i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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