discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Can you bring me the toilet please
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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