idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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