"it" just moved
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
