Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
