Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
