Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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