Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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