shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
