I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
