can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
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Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
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Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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