I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
