I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
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I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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