Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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