I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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