problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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