it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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