What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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