I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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