new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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