Non-Jews are for practice
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize