I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
