Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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