I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
