ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
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Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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