Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
there's paper in my vomit.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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