Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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