these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
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She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
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Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.