we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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