Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
