sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
