I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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