guys are not supposed to queef...right?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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